NWA Starrcade '85: The Gathering (1985)

Starrcade '85

November 28, 1985

Greensboro Coliseum - Greensboro, North Carolina

The Omni - Atlanta, Georgia

30.000 (combined)

Why are there 2 Rs in Starrcade?

Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes, the rematch. Hopefully this one can deliver.

But if it can't, at least I learned how to make gifs.

This is why you have to know how the layers box works

Brodus Clay debut imminent. 

"It's us! We're on the screen"

"WE ROCK!"

This scene is just gold. I can picture the director calling for glamour shots of the audience. The camera finds a group of gals in elegant gowns. He starts to pan. The director wants him to cut away from the bigger (but very excited) girl. Then the reaction on the last girl. It's some combination of surprise and disgust. Maybe she realized she sat on her friend's pie.

Jeez, why did kids even watch this stuff?

Then they toss it to this guy. Could he look any creepier?

Oh, god.

It's just... how come... why is everybody so old?

Krusher Khruschev defeated Sam Houston: Singles match for the vacant NWA Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Championship

BOOOOOOO!!!!!

On second thought, I think I'll cheer for the Commie.

That ref must be a friend of Ric Flair because he's stylin' and profilin'.

Manny Fernandez defeated Abdullah the Butcher (with Paul Jones): Mexican Death match

Yoink!

That must have been a hell of a pimple!

I know she's excited!

Yay! Blood! A Thanksgiving tradition!

He's got it! He's got the sombrero!

Ron Bass defeated Black Bart (with James J. Dillon): Texas Bullrope match

Good, I was worried we weren't going to have more blood.

James J. Dillon (with Black Bart) defeated Ron Bass: Texas Bullrope match

Jeez.

Billy Graham defeated The Barbarian (with Paul Jones) by disqualification: Arm wrestling match/Singles match

And then they went on to have a regular match that was no more exciting.

Buddy Landel (with James J. Dillon) defeated Terry Taylor (c): Singles match for the NWA National Heavyweight Championship

I guess this guy is a 2 bit Ric Flair.

Complete with strut.

The Minnesota Wrecking Crew (Ole and Arn Anderson) (c) defeated Wahoo McDaniel and Billy Jack Haynes: Tag team match for the NWA National Tag Team Championship

Magnum T.A. defeated Tully Blanchard (c) (with Baby Doll): "I Quit" steel cage match for the NWA United States Heavyweight Championship 

First time I've seen Magnum T.A.. 

"You're monkey ass says I QUIT!"

This was actually a pretty good match. Nice pacing and very believable.

Jimmy Valiant and Miss Atlanta Lively (with Big Mama) defeated The Midnight Express (Bobby Eaton and Dennis Condrey) (with Jim Cornette): Atlanta Street Fight 

At first I thought this was a comedy match. Everybody was in outrageous outfits and dancing. 

But then there was a lot of blood.

The Rock 'n' Roll Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) (with Don Kernodle) defeated Ivan and Nikita Koloff (c) (with Krusher Khruschev): Steel cage match for the NWA World Tag Team Championship

So... these rocker guys are like heart throbs, I guess...

Dusty Rhodes defeated Ric Flair (c): Singles match for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship

Get loose, daddy!

So majestic.

Not impressed.

5 hit combo!

This is what you paid to see.

I think the sports type celebration is actually kind of neat.

Decision:

The best Starrcade yet, but still hard to get through. When every match has blood, it becomes less special. Having the event split across 2 venues adds nothing of value. There was a freakin' intermission! You can really tell the difference between this product and what McMahon is doing. But what do I know, the girls at this event were screaming at the top of their lungs.

2 good matches (I quit and main event) means...

2 out of 5 stars

NWA Starrcade '84: The Million Dollar Challenge (1984)

Starrcade '84

November 22, 1984

Greensboro Coliseum - Greensboro, North Carolina

16,000 in attendance

Wait. If they didn't have the internet, how were they able to watch the pre-show on the app?

And now begins the march of championship matches.

Denny Brown defeated Mike Davis to win the NWA World Junior Heavyweight Championship

This one ended in a real cluster-muck. The guy in bright blue gave the other guy a "sooplay" (as pronounced by the announcers). The problem was that he had his shoulders down too. At the last second, Denny lifted one of his shoulders, earning the pin.

Kind of like this spot from a couple of years ago.

The problem was that the commentators had no clue what was going on. And since they are so damn old and have those horrible glasses, they couldn't pick up the finish. To be fair, neither did anybody else in the arena, because you had to be in the ring to see it. The commentators kept claiming that the ring announcer got it wrong, even though the right guy was given the belt and was celebrating. Really makes you appreciate WWE camera work/production. 

Brian Adidis defeated Mr. Ito 

"Roamed all over coliseum floors!"

Jesse Barr defeated Mike Graham to retain the NWA Florida Heavyweight Championship 

Great idea guys, that's how you get your unique personalities over with the crowd.

The Assassin and Buzz Tyler defeated The Zambuie Express (Elijah Akeem and Kareem Muhammed) (with Paul Jones) in a Tag Team Elimination Match

 
It's that masked assassin guy we saw from last time. Well, one of them at least. But now he has all of this personality and jukes in the ring. What did I miss in the span of one year?

Tony Schiavone, unfortunately, we'll be seeing a lot more of him from here on out.

Manny Fernandez defeated Black Bart (with James J. Dillon) to win the Brass Knuckles Heavyweight Championship 

Blood. Good! That canvas was looking way too sanitary.

Paul Jones defeated Jimmy Valiant in a Tuxedo Street Fight Loser-Leaves-Town match

And they say the Attitude Era was too lewd.

Ron Bass (with James J. Dillon) defeated Dick Slater by disqualification to retain the NWA Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Championship 

"Come wrestle me, boy!" (actual quote)

 Non-stop action!

 Ivan Koloff and Nikita Koloff defeated Ole Anderson and Keith Larson (with Don Kernodle)

Now, why would he also wear red?

Tully Blanchard defeated Ricky Steamboat to retain the NWA World Television Championship and win $10,000 

That's a cute little title.

Wahoo McDaniel defeated Billy Graham to retain the NWA United States Championship 

I heard you like title matches.

Ric Flair defeated Dusty Rhodes to retain the NWA World Heavyweight Championship and win $1 million

This match was a huge disappointment. It was stopped after about ten minutes, by special referee boxing legend Joe Frazier, due to a nasty cut above Dusty's eye. This looked legitimate, because Frazier seemed really confused about the whole situation. The match didn't live up to expectations. Maybe next time.

Post match interview. Wait. Why is his shirt off?

Decision:

Too many title matches. By halfway through the show, I really stopped caring who won a title or not. The main event was a bust. Everything is still outrageously dated and lame. I know, I know, different time. But WrestleMania occurs 4 months later, and feels completely different than this.

1 out of 5 stars