WWE The Big Event (1986)

The Big Event

August 28, 1986

Exhibition Stadium - Toronto, Ontario

74,000 in Attendance

"He said Toronto! Yaaaaayyyy!!!!" - The Rock

The baseball stadium did bring a welcomed bit of variety.

How the hell are they supposed to call the action from there.

 The Killer Bees (Jim Brunzell and B. Brian Blair) defeated Jimmy Jack Funk and Hoss Funk (with Jimmy Hart)

Towards the end of the match, The Killer Bees put on masks to confuse the ref as to who was the legal man. Not really a good guy move, but whatever.

The Magnificent Muraco (with Mr. Fuji) fought Haku to a time-limit draw

My feelings exactly.

 Ted Arcidi defeated Tony Garea

It's like a fantasy matchup I would have made with my generic dollar store wrestling figures.

Junkyard Dog defeated Adrian Adonis (with Jimmy Hart)

For some reason Junkyard Dog attacked his opponent with a chain during the match. Again, not really a good guy move. But even stranger, the ref allowed it.

Bobby Heenan, King Kong Bundy, and Big John Studd defeated Lou Albano and The Machines (Super Machine and Big Machine) (with Giant Machine)

Yeah, let's put Andre the Giant, the most impressive looking athlete ever, in a mask.

Ricky Steamboat defeated Jake Roberts

The only match worth watching.

Billy Jack Haynes defeated Hercules Hernandez

CLAP----OFF!!!

 The Fabulous Rougeaus (Jacques and Raymond) defeated The Dream Team (Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake)

Why is everyone wearing the exact same gear?

Harley Race defeated Pedro Morales

Give 'em a break; they're old.

Hulk Hogan (c) defeated Paul Orndorff (with Bobby Heenan)

Who says Hogan has a limited move-set?

Decision:

One good match. The rest was fluff. And not even entertaining fluff. A bunch of generic characters doing very little to set themselves apart. The lone star belongs to Ricky and Jake. I can't wait to see what else these guys have to show me in the years to follow.

1 out of 5 stars

WWE The Wrestling Classic (1985)

The Wrestling Classic

November 7, 1985

Rosemont Horizon - Rosemont, Illinois

14,000 in Attendance

A tournament!!!
This has to be good!
Right?
Wrong!

There really is very little to get excited about with this one. Tons of boring matches with screwy finishes. There was so little to note, that there really isn't a lot to post about.

There's your bracket with all the results and--- who cares?

Is that better or worse than 1080P?

Dat class.

A bracket flanked by a pretty lady in a tablecloth with a pointer!?!?

The WWE sure knows its audience.

Miss Elizabeth drew a name that Macho Man wasn't happy about. 

"Can't do anything right!"

That moment when you forget the name of the football team you're shouting out to.

"And also... congratulations to the... Chicago..."

Here's an idea: Let's give away a Rolls Royce via mail-in entry. Then let's have members of the accounting agency responsible for the contest have a few words in the ring before the main event. Wouldn't it be neat if the winner was from Illinois? He is? That's great! Maybe he is in attendance. Does anyone know if he's here? Anyone? Maybe?

Besides the tournament there was a championship match between the Hulkster and Piper. At one point Piper brought in a chair, but with the ref knocked out, Hulk used it to his advantage. Kind of curious for his character. The match ended with Bob Orton interrupting the match. So many lame finishes.

Perhaps the most important aspect of this show is that it is the first event held at the Rosemont Horizon (now known as the Allstate Arena). This venue would become one of the favorites for wrestlers, as the crowd is always extremely hot and vocal, and I can vouch for that having first-hand experience. They were great even for this show. We will see many more great moments from this building.

Decision:

Really a pretty boring affair. A huge step down from WrestleMania. The matches all seemed to blend together and too many funny finishes ruined the drama. The production was decent, better than the competition, but not by much.

1 out of 5 stars

NWA Starrcade '84: The Million Dollar Challenge (1984)

Starrcade '84

November 22, 1984

Greensboro Coliseum - Greensboro, North Carolina

16,000 in attendance

Wait. If they didn't have the internet, how were they able to watch the pre-show on the app?

And now begins the march of championship matches.

Denny Brown defeated Mike Davis to win the NWA World Junior Heavyweight Championship

This one ended in a real cluster-muck. The guy in bright blue gave the other guy a "sooplay" (as pronounced by the announcers). The problem was that he had his shoulders down too. At the last second, Denny lifted one of his shoulders, earning the pin.

Kind of like this spot from a couple of years ago.

The problem was that the commentators had no clue what was going on. And since they are so damn old and have those horrible glasses, they couldn't pick up the finish. To be fair, neither did anybody else in the arena, because you had to be in the ring to see it. The commentators kept claiming that the ring announcer got it wrong, even though the right guy was given the belt and was celebrating. Really makes you appreciate WWE camera work/production. 

Brian Adidis defeated Mr. Ito 

"Roamed all over coliseum floors!"

Jesse Barr defeated Mike Graham to retain the NWA Florida Heavyweight Championship 

Great idea guys, that's how you get your unique personalities over with the crowd.

The Assassin and Buzz Tyler defeated The Zambuie Express (Elijah Akeem and Kareem Muhammed) (with Paul Jones) in a Tag Team Elimination Match

 
It's that masked assassin guy we saw from last time. Well, one of them at least. But now he has all of this personality and jukes in the ring. What did I miss in the span of one year?

Tony Schiavone, unfortunately, we'll be seeing a lot more of him from here on out.

Manny Fernandez defeated Black Bart (with James J. Dillon) to win the Brass Knuckles Heavyweight Championship 

Blood. Good! That canvas was looking way too sanitary.

Paul Jones defeated Jimmy Valiant in a Tuxedo Street Fight Loser-Leaves-Town match

And they say the Attitude Era was too lewd.

Ron Bass (with James J. Dillon) defeated Dick Slater by disqualification to retain the NWA Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Championship 

"Come wrestle me, boy!" (actual quote)

 Non-stop action!

 Ivan Koloff and Nikita Koloff defeated Ole Anderson and Keith Larson (with Don Kernodle)

Now, why would he also wear red?

Tully Blanchard defeated Ricky Steamboat to retain the NWA World Television Championship and win $10,000 

That's a cute little title.

Wahoo McDaniel defeated Billy Graham to retain the NWA United States Championship 

I heard you like title matches.

Ric Flair defeated Dusty Rhodes to retain the NWA World Heavyweight Championship and win $1 million

This match was a huge disappointment. It was stopped after about ten minutes, by special referee boxing legend Joe Frazier, due to a nasty cut above Dusty's eye. This looked legitimate, because Frazier seemed really confused about the whole situation. The match didn't live up to expectations. Maybe next time.

Post match interview. Wait. Why is his shirt off?

Decision:

Too many title matches. By halfway through the show, I really stopped caring who won a title or not. The main event was a bust. Everything is still outrageously dated and lame. I know, I know, different time. But WrestleMania occurs 4 months later, and feels completely different than this.

1 out of 5 stars