WWE WrestleMania (1985)

(Originally posted on CooleyChi)

WrestleMania 1
March 31, 1985

Madison Square Garden - New York, New York 

19,121 in Attendance

Prologue
I was only 4 days old. How the hell should I know?

The Matches

• Tito Santino defeats The Executioner via submission: I don't know either of these guys.
• King Kong Bundy (accompanied by Jimmy Hart) defeats Special Delivery Jones via pinfall: Cool promo from Jones. Then Bundy enters. The first time I've ever seen him. Wow! What a look. Super imposing. The match is a squash which officially lasts 9 seconds (but was actually 24). Evidently, a record. Daniel Bryan shouldn't feel so bad.

King Kong Bundy. Awesome.

• Ricky Steamboat defeats Matt Borne via pinfall: First time I've watched Ricky Steamboat. I can see why he is considered a legend. Great look, great athleticism, great ring-work. 

Ricky Steamboat. I think this is who my dad wanted to look like.

• David Sammartino (accompanied by father, Bruno Sammartino) vs Brutus Beefcake (accompanied by Johnny Valiant) results in a double disqualification: Didn't hold my attention, until the managers got involved. Bruno got a major pop (He held the WWF title for 11 years over 2 reigns).
• The Junkyard Dog defeats Intercontinental Champion Greg "The Hammer" Valentine (accompanied by Jimmy Hart) via disqualification: Valentine rolled up Junkyard and got a 3 count with a little help from the ropes. Then Santino came out to explain to the ref that Valentine cheated. The ref restarted the match, but Valentine wouldn't come back to the ring. Junkyard wins by count-out, but doesn't get the title. 

A pre-match Juke.

• Nikolai Volkoff and Iron Sheik (accompanied by Freddie Blassie) defeat The U.S. Express (Mike Rotundo and Barry Windham) (accompanied by Lou Albano) for the Tag Team Championship via pinfall: The foreigners won by shenanigans. All the 'Mericans were upset.
• Andre The Giant defeats Big John Studd (accompanied by Bobby "The Brain" Heenan) via body slam: A gimmick match. Big John and Heenan put up $15,000 in cash as a prize for Andre if he could body slam Big John. If he failed to, he would be forced to retire. Slow, dull match. Andre slams Big John out of nowhere. Andre starts to toss the cash to the fans, until Heenan grabs the bag and makes his escape.



What a sweet duffel bag.

• Wendi Richter (accompanied by Cyndi Lauper) defeats Leilani Kai (accompanied by The Fabulous Moolah) for the Women's Championship: Surprisingly, a pretty good match. Wendi had some nice moves that I've never seen from any of the current Divas. Was Moolah ever young?
• WWF Champion Hulk Hogan and Mr. T (accompanied by Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka) defeat Roddy Piper and "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff (accompanied by Cowboy Bob Orton (Randy's dad)) via pinfall in a tag-team match with special referee Muhammad Ali: Every match I've see with Hogan is more about theatrics than wrestling, which is okay. The crowd was super hot for this one. Ali played the role of enforcer, while Pat Patterson was the regular ref. A long match. Kind of sloppy, as could be expected when actors are involved. Monsoon and Ventura sell it well.

Celebrities

Billy Martin (Yankees manager/player)

Liberace danced with The Rockettes. People loved it.

Jose Torres (Boxer)

Observations
Jesse "The Body" Ventura and Gorilla Monsoon make an awesome commentating team. Especially Monsoon; he's like a really good baseball announcer. Great voice. Great coverage of the action. Ventura was like Booker T at half speed.
The Garden was a logical choice. Classic venue. Hot crowd.

Grade
I actually enjoyed this much more than I thought I would. Really impressed by King Kong Bundy, Ricky Steamboat and Wendi Richter. Junkyard Dog and Special Delivery Jones were too cool. The WWF kept emphasizing that this was the biggest event in wrestling history, and it felt like it.
3 out of 5 stars

NWA Starrcade '84: The Million Dollar Challenge (1984)

Starrcade '84

November 22, 1984

Greensboro Coliseum - Greensboro, North Carolina

16,000 in attendance

Wait. If they didn't have the internet, how were they able to watch the pre-show on the app?

And now begins the march of championship matches.

Denny Brown defeated Mike Davis to win the NWA World Junior Heavyweight Championship

This one ended in a real cluster-muck. The guy in bright blue gave the other guy a "sooplay" (as pronounced by the announcers). The problem was that he had his shoulders down too. At the last second, Denny lifted one of his shoulders, earning the pin.

Kind of like this spot from a couple of years ago.

The problem was that the commentators had no clue what was going on. And since they are so damn old and have those horrible glasses, they couldn't pick up the finish. To be fair, neither did anybody else in the arena, because you had to be in the ring to see it. The commentators kept claiming that the ring announcer got it wrong, even though the right guy was given the belt and was celebrating. Really makes you appreciate WWE camera work/production. 

Brian Adidis defeated Mr. Ito 

"Roamed all over coliseum floors!"

Jesse Barr defeated Mike Graham to retain the NWA Florida Heavyweight Championship 

Great idea guys, that's how you get your unique personalities over with the crowd.

The Assassin and Buzz Tyler defeated The Zambuie Express (Elijah Akeem and Kareem Muhammed) (with Paul Jones) in a Tag Team Elimination Match

 
It's that masked assassin guy we saw from last time. Well, one of them at least. But now he has all of this personality and jukes in the ring. What did I miss in the span of one year?

Tony Schiavone, unfortunately, we'll be seeing a lot more of him from here on out.

Manny Fernandez defeated Black Bart (with James J. Dillon) to win the Brass Knuckles Heavyweight Championship 

Blood. Good! That canvas was looking way too sanitary.

Paul Jones defeated Jimmy Valiant in a Tuxedo Street Fight Loser-Leaves-Town match

And they say the Attitude Era was too lewd.

Ron Bass (with James J. Dillon) defeated Dick Slater by disqualification to retain the NWA Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Championship 

"Come wrestle me, boy!" (actual quote)

 Non-stop action!

 Ivan Koloff and Nikita Koloff defeated Ole Anderson and Keith Larson (with Don Kernodle)

Now, why would he also wear red?

Tully Blanchard defeated Ricky Steamboat to retain the NWA World Television Championship and win $10,000 

That's a cute little title.

Wahoo McDaniel defeated Billy Graham to retain the NWA United States Championship 

I heard you like title matches.

Ric Flair defeated Dusty Rhodes to retain the NWA World Heavyweight Championship and win $1 million

This match was a huge disappointment. It was stopped after about ten minutes, by special referee boxing legend Joe Frazier, due to a nasty cut above Dusty's eye. This looked legitimate, because Frazier seemed really confused about the whole situation. The match didn't live up to expectations. Maybe next time.

Post match interview. Wait. Why is his shirt off?

Decision:

Too many title matches. By halfway through the show, I really stopped caring who won a title or not. The main event was a bust. Everything is still outrageously dated and lame. I know, I know, different time. But WrestleMania occurs 4 months later, and feels completely different than this.

1 out of 5 stars

NWA Starrcade '83: A Flair for the Gold (1983)

Starrcade '83

November 24, 1983

Greensboro Coliseum - Greensboro, North Carolina

16,000 in attendance

The Assassins (#1 and #2) defeated Rufus R. Jones and Bugsy McGraw

This is going to be a long blog series...

Vince, save us.

Kevin Sullivan and Mark Lewin defeated Scott McGhee and Johnny Weaver

It's going to be one of those nights.

Abdullah the Butcher defeated Carlos Colon

What is Diego's dad doing to Abdullah?

 Bob Orton, Jr. and Dick Slater defeated Mark Youngblood and Wahoo McDaniel

Is he going top rope?

No. He decides to carefully get down and jump from the steps.

So cool.

The original Renee Young.

 Charlie Brown defeated The Great Kabuki (c)

Respect the beard.

Waiting in the wings for a title shot, "IF YOU WHEEL!"

Roddy Piper defeated Greg Valentine

One of the earliest, most gruesome matches. Very hardcore. Good match.

Ricky Steamboat and Jay Youngblood defeated Jack and Jerry Brisco (c)

Ric Flair defeated Harley Race (c)

That moment when you realize that Ric didn't always look smashed.

A kiss for good luck.

That ring grime. Someone call OSHA.

Will she kiss him now?

Decision:

Too many bloody matches that didn't need it. Really, Piper/Valentine and Flair/Race should have been the only ones with color. Those matches were the only ones worth watching. I get that this is older stuff and is very different from todays show, but I still think it seemed corny, even for its time. The production was just so sparse and mundane. 2 good matches means...

2 out of 5 stars